I’m a mom.

A pretty good one, at that. My daughter dresses like a diva, most of the time her face is clean, she says please and thank you, and doesn’t fall to the ground in super tantrums in the middle of Target.

But, for some people this isn’t enough. Now, I am not talking about the actual children and how smart, talented, beautiful they are…. I am talking about the actual task of moming.

When I first started attending play groups and hanging with other preschool-having women, I’ll admit I got wrapped up in the game. Whose kid will have the healthiest snack, which kid has the most educational toys, who makes the best halloween costume…

You don’t believe me that these contests exist? Let me tell you a little about gingham checked picnic basket mom. I should preface what I am about to say by telling those of you that own a gingham lined picnic basket to stop reading here. Hell, you should probably stop reading my blog all together–because you and I can never be friends.

Damn, I kind of want that picnic basket.

But, I digress. I show up to the fountains with my kid, some water shoes, and she’s wearing an actual swimsuit. I, of course, forgot a towel, and had to dry her off with napkins from the nearby Mexican restaurant, but whatever. My kid’s making friends, running through the water and generally having a great time…

… then she shows up…

You know her… she has on freshly ironed khaki capris (I don’t even know where my iron is), a white button up shirt (WTF I haven’t bought anything white since I got boobs in the sixth grade and they turned into my own personal food shelf) and sporty canvas tennis shoes (Get some flip flops bitch. This is Texas and it’s 119 degrees out here).

Ugh, I instantly hate this woman, but here’s the thing–in the competitive world of mommyhood you have to love her. It’s the rulez.

So, I smile and watch her pull out home made granola (In my mind, though she just opened up some Quaker Granola bars and broke them up into her little snack packs) from her picnic basket. Her children munch on their fancy snack, and I offer my kid some of my frappuccino. (What? It didn’t have an caffeine in it.)

Then she whips out homemade bubble wands complete with cookie trays and organic bubble solution. (She told us it was organic. I am not even sure what that means, but she made a big thing out of it.)

That’s the very second I realized that I was out. I can’t compete with that, and more to the point–I just won’t. I am just going to be the best damn mom I can be, and to hell with that.

Have a Nice Day and Watch out for the Big Yellow Chicken.

I am not a big traveler. I prefer the comforts of my own home, with big comfy couch and my perfectly positioned laptop table in front of my personally selected DVR television. But, my parents have been spending most of their time in Miami because of my dad’s job and my daughter really wanted to see what they were up to out there, so we packed up and flew out to Miami for the family vacation.

We had a total blast. We fed monkeys, swam with sting rays (not actually on purpose, they just came to visit us on the beach after the storm), saw actual crocodiles in the wild, and even went fishing. It was a great family vacation, and I am so glad we did it. It has opened my eyes to the possibilities of traveling with a child, and I discovered that it wasn’t actually all that difficult. We will definitely be doing more traveling in the future.

Miami totally opened my eyes to a different culture, and it was completely unexpected. Everywhere we went people were speaking Spanish. Now, I live in Texas-so I am no stranger to people speaking Spanish or anything, but this was different. It was everywhere. It was almost like English was the second language down there. It was really neat to see the different aspects of the Cuban culture and how they affected Miami. You saw it in the architecture, the housing designs, the clothing, and expecially the food.

I am very naive, and I just assumed that everyone in America was the same as us redneck folk here in Dallas. I thought we all kind of spoke the same language and did the same things, but there was salsa music coming from the live bands at the mall, and even at the BBQ restaurant in the Everglades, we were one of vey few English speakers.

I am not saying this is a bad thing at all. I actually thought it was REALLY cool to see a different culture like that only a short plane ride away. I hope that my parents continue to spend more time there so I can take my daughter again and again. I want her to experience the richness that Miami has to offer.

Have a Nice Day and Watch out for the Big Yellow Chicken.

Last night the sirens blared. My husband and daughter were driving home from the store. Cell phones stopped working, and I couldn’t get ahold of them. I was scared. The winds raged and my power went out. This is a video taken about three houses down from my house (at the same time my husband was driving):

They were driving home then. My husband said he he had to make a quick decision when they were about a 1/4 mile from home. Should he pull into the gas station or just get home. He made the decision to get home, he said he wasn’t sure how we would do it if he had it to do again, but he knew right then that was the decision he had to make. I trust his judgment, so I am sure he did the right thing.

When he banged on the back door I scooped up Halle faster than I ever have in my life. I am still shaking a little just thinking about everything that was going on. I don’t get rattled easily, but I am a HUGE storm wimp and this could have turned into my worst nightmare. Fortunately the only damage was a cracked windshield on my husband’s truck. I couldn’t get the internet to work on my phone and I couldn’t call anyone.

After we spent a little while huddled in the bathroom, we came out to no power. I went upstairs to the only plug in phone in the house and started calling the family. They were mostly without power, too. We settled in for the rest of the evening with a radio and some tunes. The daughter had a blast dancing and making giant shadows on the wall.

This morning, I went out and took some pictures of our street. Wow! A lot of trees are down in my neighborhood.

Have a Nice Day and Watch out for the Big Yellow Chicken.