I dunno, I mean–grammar’s cool and all, but what’s really the point, ya know? Is it, like, really, seriously an important thing that we know the rulez or whatevs?

Yes, why yes it is.

So, here’s the thing. I spend a lot of time gaming, and I think my punctuation, grammar, writing style is definitely hurt a little by that… but I also think it helps.

I think it’s one of those cases knowing the rules well enough to break them.

So, in honor of national grammar day… what grammar rule do you love to break?

The thing about writers is, until we figure out that we’re actually supposed to spend our lives living in make believe lands and telling pretend stories–we are a little lost. So, we work some pretty interesting jobs. What’s so great about those experiences, though is that they give us a chance to see and learn new things… and that just makes for better stories. So, really we do this for our readers.

Yeah, that’s what I’m going to go with.

I thought maybe today I’d talk a little about some of my old pre-writer professions.

Receptionist at the International Language Building of my College- This was a crazy job, because all the students there were learning English. Yeah, so that means that none of them actually spoke the same language as me. They’d show up, try to explain to me what they wanted with words like dog, cat, and here while I mostly just smiled and nodded. This went both ways. I’d ask them to give me their ID or something and they’d hand me a stick of gum.

Camp Counselor- As far as summer jobs go, this one was the best. I learned to shoot a bow, build a fire, and throw a pot. It was free room and board in the middle of the mountains, and we had a gourmet chef. Of course, I also got a concussion, dysentary and like nine different kinds of poison ivy/oak/whatever. I’m probably going to set my next book there, though–so it wasn’t all that bad.

Phone Sales- Okay, so I can’t really count this one because I only lasted one day. I went in, sat at the little desk they provided me and tried to convince some people to buy coupon books. It was horrible. The boss smelled weird, he yelled a lot that no one was selling the impossible to sell coupons, and the people there made me sad. I went outside for my break and just didn’t go back. That was probably my favorite part.

Video Store Clerk- I got this job because I babysat for the owner of the stores. Well, this just really pissed off the manager, because he didn’t get to hire me himself. He HATED me. I mean seriously, I once caught him in the back of the store telling someone how much he wanted me to just quit. Asshole. I went home sick one day and he called the store owner to tell him he caught me at McDonalds! Ugh, I want to call that guy and call him names right now.

Kmart Floor Associate- Let me be clear that this was one of my favorite jobs ever. I worked here during high school, and I loved it. My favorite part? Um, duh….

Yeah, I got to announce to an entire store that socks and panties were just ten cents each. I loved talking on that intercom. Truth is, if I have a cocktail or two, you can convince me to do this on pretty much any microphone anywhere.

I never should have admitted that.

Now, pray tell–what awesome jobs have you worked? Would they make a good story?

I know what you’re thinking here…

It’s the chicken/egg thing–right?

Nope. I don’t actually care which came first. I don’t really like eggs all that much, although I do think they’re a cool shape.

What I do want to know is this:

Are you a Ninja or a Pirate?

I’m watching the super hot snowboarders women’s ski race today when a McDonald’s commercial comes on. They’re an official partner of the Olympic games, and that’s no big surprise because they’ve pretty much been involved with the games as long as I can remember. Then their slogan comes across the screen:

McDonalds. Eat Like An Olympian.

Um, what? Apparently, if I go to McDonald’s get some of their limited edition dipping sauce for my McNuggets, then it’s like I’m training for the Olympic Gold. Okay, I’m a grown woman and I know that is a bunch of bull, but my four year old looked up at me and said, “Mom, you’re wrong about nuggets not being healthy! If those sports people eat them, then they must be good for you!”

Yeah, McDonalds seriously undid all the work I’ve done to try to convince her that we don’t have to have every Happy Meal toy ever made.

What’s a mom supposed to do with these commercials, and why the hell is McDonalds getting away with this? I’m glad they’re sponsoring the olympics or whatever, but I could do without them trying to convince my child that if she eats a McRib, then she’s Kerri freakin’ Strug.

Screw you Ronald.

It’s time for the winner of the Autographed Copy of Courage In Patience.

There were 41 comments in all, so I did the random.org thing and #9 is the winner.

(As an aside, I really need to update my comments so that they have a number beside them and I don’t have to go through and count out each time.)

#9 in the comments was Rachel Bateman. She has until next week to email me back with her address, or we’ll find someone new.

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring you a snow day!

Since I’ve been thinking a lot about super powers lately, I’ve been trying to decide what makes a hero and what makes a villain. I mean, at first glance that seems like a pretty obvious answer, right? Heroes are good and villains are bad.

Sure, there are some guys that are super evil and nasty like The Joker, but he was just some guy who got really screwed up and is now super pissed about it, right? So we villainize him.

Is villainize a word?

But then there are guys like Batman who, frankly, kind of blur the lines. That guy pisses off cops all the time, he lies about who he is and where he’s been, he breaks piles of stuff. (There’s nothing I love more than when the good guys come in to stop the bad guys from destroying the city and then–destory the city.)

So who decides?

Is it the media? Like for a while everyone decided Spider Man was hindrance to the city. Was he, for that brief period, a villain because he wasn’t in the city’s favor?

Anyway, what I want to know is–what would you be? Would you save damsels and dudes in distress, or would you strive for endless power?*

If you had to be a super something would it be a superhero or a supervillain?

*Oh, hey maybe that’s how we tell.

It’s time to give away a signed copy of Our Farm by Maya Gottfried! So, we turn to the ‘ol Random number generator.

Drumroll please…

Oh, number five. I’ve always liked that number for some reason… and so we go to the comments… and it’s Kara! Congratulations Kara! I will email the winner, and if for some reason she doesn’t get back to me within the next week I will pick another winner.

Thanks Maya for the awesome giveaway!

That’s one of those quotes that you instantly know. I mean, right?

I assume you know what movie that comes from, or seriously, we can’t be friends.

Actually, pretty much the second I hear it, I have to do a youtube search and watch the part again. But, because I am such a good friend, (to those of you that did get the quote–just sayin’) I’ll save you the trouble…

Why have I been thinking about this movie lately? Well, the other day when I was surfing the internet for lulz researching for my upcoming novel, I came across this article*:

Yeah, they freakin’ lost Hoggle in unclaimed baggage. At first I was all outraged. How dare they not call unclaimed baggage to get him back? Animatronic puppets cost a lot to make, and they just left him there! Then I started thinking about it. Dude, why the hell would they need an old dwarf robot that’s already been used for a major motion picture. They probably got off the plane and were all, “Man I really want to take a nap, but I hate walking down to that luggage thing. You know what? Screw it, let the airlines figure out what to do with him. It’s not like we can use him again, right?”

Damn, that was a good movie though. Remember Ludo?

Aw, the thing about Ludo was, she should have been scared of him–but JC was such a total badass that she wasn’t. I think that’s maybe what made the Goblin King love her so.

Because, I’ll tell you right now… I was totally and completely in love with him.

Poor Hoggle. He’s the real loser here.

*You can find that full article here, but be warned that they show you Hoggle without his face on, and it might ruin a childhood friend.

Okay, so the goal was to blog every day for a month. Did I make it?

Um, almost.

Ha! How classically Jamie* is that to blog every freakin’ day and then to NOT do it two days before the month was over.

But, I’ve been thinking about the weekend blogging. Here’s the thing. I don’t actually like it. No one is really reading blogs, everyone is off doing super exciting family things, and they don’t have time to listen to my ramblings.

But–I have two pretty cool features planned for the weekends. I was going to do a thing where I talk about products that changed my life, and then I was going to do book reviews. Crap. So, now what? Well… I have a plan.

I’m sure you’re not all that interested in the plan, but I feel like if I I blog it, then I am at least making a blogging commitment, right?

So, I am going to use my Fridays for that fun stuff. Which is totally awesome, because I usually run out of fun stuff to say by Friday anyway.

Now, as promised I am only making blogging goals one month at a time– so here’s the official February blogging goal:

I will blog ever weekday, with a super cool feature on Fridays in which I alternate talking about books I love (I am not really in the business of author bashing around here–so instead of insulting books I will just not review the ones I don’t love) and products I can’t live without.

That’s not a bad goal… and hey this month is super short, right?

*For those of you who don’t totally know me, that’s about as classic Jamie as it gets…