I love when bloggers leave an open ended blogging day so I can ask them anything I want, so I thought it might be fun to give it a try.
Leave your questions in the comments below. I’ll answer them as best I can in some form or another. I can’t wait to hear what you want to know!
I freakin’ love to shop. It’s ridiculous. I’m not really a fashion show/montage kind of girl or anything, but I could spend like seventy-nine bazillion hours looking at pretty things, putting them in my cart, and even occasionally buying them.
The thing is, I have a four year old–and while she’s awesome, she’s not totally on board with my shopping lust. So, what’s a girl to do when she NEEDS to scour the aisles of stores for beautiful wares, but her child just wants to lay on the ground making dust angels?
That’s right… I open up a really killer site like Anthrolpolgie or Etsy and I fill my cart with everything I would ever even consider buying.
Heck, if it comes in multiple colors, I pick one of each. I even think of little gifts I want to buy for other people and stick them in there too…
Then, when I realize that I’ve spent at five or six hundred dollars in fake money… I CLOSE THE BROWSER.
Yeah, straight up, I don’t even think about it… I just click that whole browser closed… and don’t ever think about that stuff again. Um, but a word to the wise: Sometimes sites enable cookies and keep all that stuff in your cart for you, so if you go back to that online store for real, you might want to check your cart first.
Okay, first off–Holy Crap February was short. How am I sitting here writing my monthly wrap up post?
So, let’s start with the writing. I’m still hard at work on my gamer girl book, but it’s not finished. So, writing is well, but nothing exciting to announce or anything.
Daughter is loving the new preschool. Super happy about that, and we are loving the new house. Although, I should seriously get that one room unpacked… argh.
Bloggy stuff is going really well. The storysaurus has his own store, and people are commenting on my posts!
This is kind of crazy for me that people care enough about what I have to say on my little ‘ol blog to comment back. The thing is, it makes blogging like a million times more fun…
That’s the thing about blogging–a lot of times you feel like you’re just kind of talking to no one, and then you’ll be at dinner with friends and someone will say, “Oh, you know… like on your blog?”
Then I sit there in silence for a few stunned seconds thinking, “Are they talking about my blog? they can’t be.” I smile and play it off like it’s no surprise to me that they read whatever random crap I’m talking about that day, but in reality I’m all surprised and crap.
When more people are reading your blog and commenting, it makes you feel like you have to say important, interesting, entertaining things… which brings me to my next point.
I didn’t make my goal for February.
What? Leave me alone! I know that February only has 28 days and that my blogging goal was to write a post every week day, and I didn’t do it because I suck. There was this one day that I thought about things to post all day, and realized they were all super boring so
I yelled at my husband for not being interesting enough for me to write about on my blog and then I took a nap. (Yeah, I’m not sure why he’s still married to me, either.) But the thing is, I didn’t come up with anything awesome that day–and I didn’t blog.
Growl. That’s two months I didn’t make my goal, but I am really growing my blog into something fun, and I am having a good time doing it. So, at the risk of ruining myself by not making my goal three times in a row…
So, yesterday I asked you guys to embarrass yourself in the comments, and you did not disappoint.
One confession in particular really stuck out for me:
I realized that if I dinged someone’s car in the parking lot , I would not leave a note. If someone dinged my car and left a note, I would not accept any money. I’d be like pfff! You seen my clunker? Repair a scratch? Ha! I think that you should expect a perfect car when it’s new, and after that, dings and dents come with the territory. If I wouldn’t pay for a dent-repair on MY car, I’m not going to offer to pay for yours either.
At first I was all like, “Sheesh, that’s not very nice.”
Then I remembered something– when I was in high school I did this.
A group of friends and I were on our way to Six Flags, and we pulled into the bank parking lot to get some money from the ATM. We were being typical teenagers, and when I pulled out of the space–I backed right into the door of someone’s car. I should have left a note.
I should have called my mom. Isn’t that why she GAVE me a cell phone in the first place?
But I didn’t… I didn’t do any of this. Instead, I listened to the cute boy sitting in the back seat of my Bronco. When he said, “DRIVE!” I did.Plus, I really wanted to go to Six Flags, because I knew when I got scared on the big roller coasters he would hold my hand…
I drove off.
The entire door of that car was all crushed in, and I just drove off and left it. We’re not talking a little baby ding here–we’re talking those people probably had to go get a new door for their car.
And it was my fault. Just writing this blog post I feel bad about it. I feel like I am going to get caught, too. I feel like the police have been looking for the girl who smashed in that door on that old beat up car for the last 15 years and now they are going to come to my house and take me away.
Now, that’s the kind of emotion I am scared to write about.
Those feelings, the way that made me feel that day to be such an asshole of a person. Now, when I think back–I can kind of rationalize it. You see, teenagers are impulsive and they do things without thinking… this was obviously one of those moments for me.
But let’s be clear here… I knew leaving was wrong, and I did it anyway because I didn’t want to face the consequences. The thing is–I didn’t have to, either.
Well, that’s not entirely true–I’ve spent the last fifteen years knowing I wrecked someone’s car and feeling like a jackass about it.
The thing about writers is, until we figure out that we’re actually supposed to spend our lives living in make believe lands and telling pretend stories–we are a little lost. So, we work some pretty interesting jobs. What’s so great about those experiences, though is that they give us a chance to see and learn new things… and that just makes for better stories. So, really we do this for our readers.
Yeah, that’s what I’m going to go with.
I thought maybe today I’d talk a little about some of my old pre-writer professions.
Receptionist at the International Language Building of my College- This was a crazy job, because all the students there were learning English. Yeah, so that means that none of them actually spoke the same language as me. They’d show up, try to explain to me what they wanted with words like dog, cat, and here while I mostly just smiled and nodded. This went both ways. I’d ask them to give me their ID or something and they’d hand me a stick of gum.
Camp Counselor- As far as summer jobs go, this one was the best. I learned to shoot a bow, build a fire, and throw a pot. It was free room and board in the middle of the mountains, and we had a gourmet chef. Of course, I also got a concussion, dysentary and like nine different kinds of poison ivy/oak/whatever. I’m probably going to set my next book there, though–so it wasn’t all that bad.
Phone Sales- Okay, so I can’t really count this one because I only lasted one day. I went in, sat at the little desk they provided me and tried to convince some people to buy coupon books. It was horrible. The boss smelled weird, he yelled a lot that no one was selling the impossible to sell coupons, and the people there made me sad. I went outside for my break and just didn’t go back. That was probably my favorite part.
Video Store Clerk- I got this job because I babysat for the owner of the stores. Well, this just really pissed off the manager, because he didn’t get to hire me himself. He HATED me. I mean seriously, I once caught him in the back of the store telling someone how much he wanted me to just quit. Asshole. I went home sick one day and he called the store owner to tell him he caught me at McDonalds! Ugh, I want to call that guy and call him names right now.
Kmart Floor Associate- Let me be clear that this was one of my favorite jobs ever. I worked here during high school, and I loved it. My favorite part? Um, duh….
Yeah, I got to announce to an entire store that socks and panties were just ten cents each. I loved talking on that intercom. Truth is, if I have a cocktail or two, you can convince me to do this on pretty much any microphone anywhere.
I never should have admitted that.
Okay, for starters. I love the word gross. I appreciate how it’s just one of those words that sounds like what it means.
Gross. It rolls around in your mouth almost like you’re gonna yak right there.
Love it.
Earlier today, we were running errands and my four year old ended up scoring us some free lollipops with her cuteness.* So, I was standing in the parking lot talking to a friend while we were both eating our suckers and it dawned on me: Lollipops are straight up the most germ infested, funky candy ever.
Seriously. We stick those things in our mouth, and then we pull them out. They’re all covered in our spit and whatever else is in the mouth. (I can only assume it’s those tiny bugs on my artist’s rendering above.) At one point, I actually caught myself enunciating my point with my cherry sucker. How nasty is that?
Why are we eating these things? Why are we handing them to our little children. Have you ever seen what a kid does witha lollipop? One time I caught my daughter sharing hers with my Pomeranian.
The thing is, I kinda like em.
Thanks to my super fly friend, Rhonda Stapleton, I just learned that today is Umbrella Day.
Now let me be the first (or second, or third, as the case may be) to admit that Umbrella Day is kind of a silly holiday, but honestly it’s no sillier than oh say VALENTINES DAY.
If you’re single then it’s just a slap in the face. If you’re married, then it’s just a night where the restaurants are ridiculously busy and if you don’t give the right kinds of chocolates then your significant other is going to be like eight different kinds of pissed– so screw that day.
Whoa, that rant up there wasn’t what this post was supposed to be about at all. This is supposed to be a post in celebration of the umbrella. You see, I want to be one of those people who has an umbrella when it rains, really I do. I want to pull a giant pink umbrella out and walk underneath it all willy nilly without a care for the treacherous thunderstorm booming above my head.
The truth?
Dude, I’m 31. That’s a long ass time to go without an umbrella. The other day it was pouring down rain and I didn’t want my daughter to get wet because she’d been coughing a little, so I took a laundry basket out of the back of my car and just sort of held that over her head while she ran in.
Dude, you read that right. I am incapable of owning an umbrella but there was a spare laundry basket just hanging out in the back of my car. I haven’t done laundry outside my house since like 1999 and yet… there’s a basket in my SUV dedicated to just that.
There was this one time when I took my little brother’s umbrella out of his car and replaced it with a WWF one so he would have to use it when he walked into school heh. (That was back when The Rock was into Wrestling, and you know–not pretending to be the tooth fairy.) Seriously, I even had this CD that I played in my car with the Rock anthem. He was so cool.
What, you’ve never heard that song before? Yeah, apparently me and the guy who made that tribute youtube video are the only ones.
That always impresses me. Like, take this coffee cup I’m drinking out of right now. The coffee in there is like a zillion and nine degrees, and this tiny plastic lid is shielding me from scorching pain and misery. But, there’s like at least an eight percent chance that it’s just going to pop right off and I’m going to have coffee all down the front of my shirt. Now, I know that eight percent doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but when we’re talking hot ass coffee all down the front of my white shirt (I kid, like I’d ever wear a white shirt last time I wore a white shirt I dropped a french fry down the little v-neck part right into my bra) then screw that.
I have two really awesome friends that are all up in the mommy community, Holly and Shauna. They made burbmom (that reminds me I have like three posts I need to make about the awesomeness of Denton over there) and they are just all about bloggers. I think that’s awesome, and I love that they met online first and then became the best of friends. (Secretly, I want them to take me to all of their secret think tank meetings just so I can drink margaritas and be super cool like them.)
Well, part of mommy blogging is when companies ask you to do super cool stuff that you can use for blog fodder.Basically their new website, Business 2 Blogger, is all about finding those opportunities and hooking both sides up with reputable bloggers/business owners. I think that’s really neat, because I sometimes get asked to do stuff from random people, companies, etc. that I don’t really know and it would be nice to know that there was someone out there kicking out the riff raff.
Here’s a direct quote from their site:
The Spirit of Business2Blogger
There’s a great deal of good faith built into Business2Blogger. This is a business venture, sure, but the Spirit of Business2Blogger is built from both the needs of the Blogger and of Business.
The thing is… Holly, Shauna and I are parents, spouses, Bloggers, and THEN Businesspeople. All aspects of this business are designed with our integrity at the forefront. We started this project in the hopes that we could bring value to both sides of the table, and in the process, help Bloggers and Businesses avoid compromising their own values whilst trying to make the almighty buck.
All that being said, we will not be able to sustain this project without your help, and integrity.
That sounds pretty cool to me!
You rock guys. Can’t wait to try out your new website.
Okay, so a blog-friend of mine, Courtney Reese has decided I’m worthy of the honest scrap award, and now I have to tell you guys ten things you don’t actually know about me. That’s pretty tough, because I am all open-book tastic. 
But, here goes…
1. I freakin’ love pop music, but I like to pretend I’m all cool and into more socially acceptable things like alternative or rock.
2. I pretend like I don’t want to wear glasses and they are a huge pain in the ass, when really I think I look like a rock star in mine, and I’m fully aware that I can totally rock the Lisa Loeb.
3. Speaking of rocking looks, I don’t think I can rock the pink hair, and yet when I go to the salon I still have her put it in. I am way too old for pink hair, but I just love it so much that–even if it does look stupid on me I am keeping it.
4. I pay someone to clean my house. I freakin’ hate cleaning. So, even though I’m a stay at home mom that should have time to do it on her own–I still pay for it.
5. I never have parties at my house because I am scared no one will come. I’m a complete wimp.
6. My husband can not sing. It’s horrible, really–but he’s so cute when he tries that I keep making him sing songs on Rock Band.
7. I am so bad with numbers and math that I actually screwed up numbering this ten things list. Damn.
8. I don’t actually like hugging people that I’m not related to. I always cringe when someone walks up to me with their arms open, but I do it anyway.
9. I don’t actually miss cheese that much. When I found out about my milk allergy, I was sad that I’d never be able to eat it again–but now it just seems insanely gross.
10. If I could eat out for every single snack and meal, I would. Seriously, in my dreams before I have a nanny or a maid or anything, I just have a lady that hangs out in my kitchen all day providing me with meals so I never have to think about it again.
And so, now that you know this about me… I am just going to throw this out to ALL my readers because I suck and can NEVER pick actual people to send these sorts of things to. So– tell me 10 things we don’t you about YOU!
One of the coolest things about being a writer is that you have to have crazy fun life experiences in the name of research. So, if someone from Chevrolet contacts you and asks if you’d like to drive their cars to Oklahoma and eat fried pies, you have no choice but to say yes.
So I headed out with a couple of other super fun girls and we crossed the state line for pastries.
We switched out driving each of the cars, but I drove this bad boy twice…
That’s the new Camaro. Dude, if I didn’t have to drive around a four year old I’d buy one for me and one for my husband.
It. Was. Awesome.
But… let’s not forget that there was totally a reason for the adventure! We had to eat fried pies, right? If you’ve never driven to Davis Oklahoma to eat fried pies, then may I suggest a road trip.
Right. Now.
We’re talking crazy awesomeness, we drove cars, I played with the OnStar people… you can ask them ANYTHING. It was way cool of General Motors to sponsor our trip, so THANKS GM!
